Ghosts

At what point in time are we set free from the ghosts of our past?
What price do we have to pay to exorcise these spectors that continue to haunt us?
What must one do?
Tell me...I'd like to know!

 For years now, I have been fighting this fight. I've tried to be strong and persevere through the battles, but I am feeling the effects of fatigue.

My body is tired.
My mind is drained.
My soul feels sucked dry.

At what point, are we recognized for our courage through these battles?
When can we find rest?
Will there be resolution?
When will peace be achieved?

No matter what I say, no matter what I do, it's always going to be perceived negative.
I will never be trusted again.  I am slowly accepting this harsh reality.
I almost feel that despite all I've done, my words and actions mean nothing anymore.

At this point, I know God has made me new, forgiven me, and given me strength.  I fought valiantly!  And through God's grace, He has brought me peace.

So I will do what I know is the most powerful. I will pray and lift my friend up to the Lord! He has the power to forgive and create anew.  Only He can put these ghosts to rest!

 

31 years of love, tears, and good times

It's always weird, especially when you haven't blogged for a long time. I've kept myself busy and forgotten this form of expression for some time.

I'm always reading tech blogs like kotaku.com or gizmodo.com, or even developer blogs. Not like I'm trying to get attention or anything, but there is definitely something about putting your thoughts down in words.

Yesterday, was my 31st birthday. Yes, can you believe this short and handsome guy is only 31?! Crazy isn't it!? Just kidding about the handsome part.

Gone are the days of crazy parties, lots of alcohol, and finding myself hungover for days. Long gone are the days of when I invited everyone I knew, and wished they were ALL there. This year, I did something different. In contrast to my 30th last year, this time around was pretty low key.

But this birthday has also been one that had so many ups and downs. A few downs I'd like to forget about, but how we deal with this situations actually helps define us. Felt like I was on a roller coaster. Where's my dromamine?

I wasn't going to let the shennanings of others or series of unfortunate events ruin the one day that can be set aside for me. No, this year I spent my birthday with a close knit of friends, small groups at a time, and close family. The highlight of it all you ask, spending time with my lola (grandmother for those of you non-Pilipinos) & visiting the grave of my lolo (guess what that means in Pilipino).

It was very heartfelt and reminded me of my existence.

It made clear that this life I was given on Earth is short, and I have a choice of how to live it. Would I let the rest of my years be caught up in the superficial and pretentious expectations of this world? Nope. Would I live for myself and only seek rewards for me? Nope.

From here on out, I'm living my live for others. It's part of what we have been commissioned to do. Because face it people, everything we do in this life now, affects our life in eternity.

So this year, was it a great birthday? I can honestly say it was!

Thank you everyone who play a part in my life! God bless you all!

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