And sometimes, the flame that is inside of a person starts to weaken if it isn't taken care of. The pain I suffer is like a broken record, repeating the same verse over and over. I feel like the fierce fire I once had inside of me is striving to survive; one that burns for Mark. But as each day goes by, each day that I am pushed away, each day that although yearns for him to return, weakens my fire to a point I feel that it may one day become extinguished. What once used to be the fuel of my fire, is now its own enemy trying to blow it out; it has no desire to be re-kindled. All that will remain will be the ashes of a past that used to be a beacon of hope, a source of light for those who have lost faith in love.
Leona Lewis's Run, originally done by Snow Patrol, is an inspiring song, that although you don't seem to have a choice, you have to "Light up Light up!". I am constantly being told by him that I will get over this and move on with my life with someone else; take the lessons learned from our now broken love and apply it so that someone new may experience that.
But how can one do that unless you discard the ashes?
The verse "I'll sing it one last time for you, then we really have to go" hits a chord with me because I feel this is starting to become the end; where we must part our ways. And that makes my heart and soul cry out! "To think I may not see those eyes, makes it so hard not to cry, and as we say our long goodbye" is another lyric that is starting to become true for me.
To overcome this pain, must I truly say goodbye, even to friendship...to everything?
I know whomever Mark shares his love with will be lucky. Maybe it's just my time to finally pass on the torch to a bearer. At least I will live to tell others of a wonderful treasure I once had, but how I let it go so he can burn for someone else. "Better to have loved, than to never have loved at all".
I sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done
And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak, I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak, I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear
Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak, I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say
ervin, i don't know you and have never met you, but from reading this i fully respect you. i truly feel music can heal. and choosing a song and relating it to our life and situation is honest self-healing. it is just a long and seemingly painful process sometimes.
ReplyDeletei know it's extremely hard to accept something we don't want to accept sometimes and cling on to that thin strand of what we feel is hope.
but what's wonderful is that you realize all this. you may feel it's too late. or too lost. or too meaningless. but things happen for a reason.
God will explain someday.
be strong. trust. and God bless.
my best goes to you,
me.